Acceptance

These past few days have been quite frustrating. The new year 2013 has been too much too handle. Such myriad issues have been plaguing my mind, thought that end of January would be the end of major issues but unfortunately this has not been the case and the frustration has continued to escalate.

There is a strong feeling of isolation, of a loneliness the kind of loneliness that wears you down, takes your confidence away and makes you just a walking mess. It has made put on so many masks, masks just to hide how I am feeling from some the person most closest to me. The constant fear of people around the constant need to hide from them and the over whelming desire to seek the comfort of my darkened corner in the room.

The primary reason for these uncomfortable and numbing feeling is my own failings in being able to accept my life today as it is. As I was graduating from college I had set some goals and had a rough path mapped out of reaching there. Today after 5 years there is a real deep sense of underachievement, a sense that I have failed or in the least am a good way behind of where I’d expected to be. I am just unable to accept it.